couples therapy san francisco Tom Bruett

5 reasons to try couples therapy

There are a number of reasons that people seek couples counseling.  Today, I’m going to explore 5 top reasons to try couples therapy.

Communication problems

Often times couples will call and say that they’d like help with communication problems.  That can mean a variety of different things.  On one end of the spectrum you have couples who have trouble talking about anything without erupting into a big fight or argument.  That can be stressful and exhausting.  On the other end of the spectrum you have couples that shut down and don’t talk at all.  About anything.  Where do you and your partner fit?  Do you argue a lot, shut down, or are you somewhere in between?


Nobody likes to talk about money.  Well, some people do.  Finances can be even more complicated to talk about than sex.  Our views around money are emotionally linked to security, safety and trust.  We develop these points-of-view early on in our families growing up and it can be hard to talk about them with our partners.  Do you and your partner have an open dialogue about money and finances?  Are you clouded with shame about the topic?  Couples therapy can help open up the conversation around money.


Sex is a hot topic in couples therapy.  Pardon the pun.  Are you having enough sex?  Do you wish you were having more?  It can be a challenge to ask for what you want and be open to constructive feedback from your partner in the bedroom.  It is possible to increase intimacy and have a better sex life.  While coming in to an office and talking about your sex life with a professional may seem odd, it can make things better.


When I talk about betrayal, I’m not only speaking about infidelity or cheating.  There are all sorts of betrayals and breaches of trust that can happen in relationships.  If you’ve hurt your partner or broken their trust, it is possible to heal and repair.  It will take work, but there is hope.  If you’ve been lied to or your trust has been broken, there are tools that can help you move through the pain you’re experiencing.


If you’re struggling with any of the four areas above, resentment can build and grow over time.  Through couples therapy you can repair, heal and grow.  Your relationship can be stronger than it was before.  I’m not going to sugarcoat it and say that the process is easy, but there are tools out there that can help.


There’s a statistic floating around that most couple seek counseling 5 years too late.  Don’t let fear make you and your partner  become a statistic!  We depend on our partners for security, love and companionship.  If things are not going well at home, the rest of your life can feel out of balance, as well.  Don’t wait until it’s too late.  Find a professional that you feel comfortable with and get the support you need to heal.  Your relationship is too important!

Tom Bruett

Tom Bruett

Tom Bruett, LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist with an office in San Francisco, CA. Tom feels passionately about helping people have better relationships. The purpose of this blog is not to provide advice or to take the place of working with a mental health professional. For more information please visit the homepage.