Call for a free 15 minute phone consultation 415-508-6450

How do I ask my partner to stop being so annoying?

Can you ask your partner to change? Yes. Should you ask your partner to change? That’s more complicated. When you’re in a close relationship with another person, chances are you’re spending more time together and getting to know the ins and outs of each other’s personalities. This can be a wonderful and exciting time! It…

Read More
Starting counseling is hard

Starting Therapy is Hard

Starting therapy can be a challenging thing.  I remember how difficult it was the first time I called a therapist for help.  No matter how hard I tried, the chore kept making its way to the bottom of my to-do list. My first time in therapy, I was naive. Like with most things, I learned…

Read More

Monogamy vs. Non-Monogamy

Younger gay men are seeking and having more monogamous relationships than their elders. Gay marriage is becoming the norm. And both gay monogamous and non-monogamous relationships have the potential for long-term success. These findings come from The Couples Study, compiled by Blake Spears and Lanz Lowen, which used in-person interviews, Facebook and Grindr data and…

Read More

Self-Care in the Age of Trump

The world has changed pretty dramatically in the last several months. Fear, hate, misogyny and all the phobias (homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, etc.) are rising to the surface and bubbling over. Overwhelm I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling pretty overwhelmed as of late. Between checking my various social media feeds and anxiously re-loading…

Read More
Toxic Shame and Gay Men

Every Gay Man Should Read This Book

Every gay man, and those who love them, should read this book. The Velvet Rage, Overcoming the Pain of Growing up Gay in a Straight Man’s World, is a powerful exploration of the toxic shame that can be debilitating for gay men. The Velvet Rage The Velvet Rage is written by Alan Downs, PhD, a…

Read More