drinking and partying too much

I’m a gay man who may be drinking or partying too much

Do you ever think, I may be drinking or partying too much? Maybe things are out of balance in your life. You still make it to work on time, pay your bills, but you don’t feel as connected with friends and loved ones as you once did.

Drinking or partying too much

The label addict doesn’t feel right, but you wonder if you’re drinking or partying too much. On one hand, your life is pretty together. But you’re worried things may be going a bit too far.  Or maybe someone you respect has questioned your substance use.

Good reasons

First off, you may have very valid reasons for drinking or partying too much. It’s probably fun. It’s a way you connect with people. Sometimes you need a break after a long week or you just want to relax and unwind with a cocktail.

Much of gay culture is centered around drinking or partying.  Gay bars are the places many of us have found acceptance and community.  You can let your hair down and find people you connect with.

What do you like about it?

Think about what you enjoy about your relationship with drugs or alcohol. Does it provide some relief? Connection? Excitement? Even if there are some negative parts about your relationship, there are probably some really good things, too.

How does it get in the way?

However, if you’re thinking about making a change in your behavior, there are probably some negative consequences that are causing you concern.  Have you blacked out recently?  Are you worried that you have done something you regret?


Luckily, there is no one size fits all approach to exploring and possibly changing your relationship with drugs or alcohol. Some people decide they need to stop all together, but the vast majority can make choices that limit the harm or consequences while maintaining some of the fun.

It’s important to honestly look at what’s working and what isn’t. Become curious about the role that substances are playing in your life. You do have choices and you can find something that works better for you.

Tom Bruett

Tom Bruett

Tom Bruett, LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist with an office in San Francisco, CA. Tom feels passionately about helping people have better relationships. The purpose of this blog is not to provide advice or to take the place of working with a mental health professional. For more information please visit the homepage.