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Hayes Valley Therapist

Hi, I’m Tom.

I help people look deeper, cultivate self-compassion and rejoin the world in a meaningful way.

Is it hard for you to connect with other people?  Do you find yourself isolating or escaping through behavior that is troubling for you?  Do you feel distant or guarded in your close relationships?

Discovering authenticity

As a gay man, I know what it feels like to hide parts of yourself. No matter your age, gender or sexuality hiding a part of yourself can be stifling and it can get in the way of building more authentic and meaningful relationships.

With more support you can be more present and courageous in your life.

A relational approach

I’m a relational therapist. That means I show up in the room with you and offer feedback and a perspective that sometimes may be different from your own. I’ll encourage you to be honest with yourself and look deeper.

A gay man's perspective

In the age of marriage equality, it can be easy for our LGBTQ history to be misconstrued. It’s my perspective, from personal experience battling my own internalized homophobia and working with our community, that it can still be a struggle growing up gay in a heteronormative world.  It will always be my intention to help you confront whatever internalized homophobia you're struggling with in the most gentle way possible.

But I don't identify as LGBTQ...

I work with with people and couples of all different identities.  If you're suffering, battling with a part of yourself that you don't like very much or struggling in your relationships, please reach out for support.  You don't have to do this alone.


Through working together I help you get in touch with those parts of yourself that you may have been ignoring. Together we’ll find fresh solutions to face your vulnerabilities and put yourself out there again. By believing in you, my aim is to help you believe in yourself.

Ready to Take the First Step?

Schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to see if we might be a good fit.


My Approach

My approach is patient, warm, and expressive. I’m not afraid of humor, anger or tears. Even if they happen all at the same time.

When we meet you’ll experience someone who is curious about you and genuinely interested in helping you achieve your goals. Our sessions will feel like a conversation and I will actively, passionately be engaged in helping you better understand your emotions and needs.

My role is to see your potential for growth, even if you’re not able to at the moment.

I look forward to getting to know you.


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